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you wont believe this.....

 
 
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** GED **
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 1926
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 11:08 pm    Post subject: you wont believe this..... Reply with quote

went into the local Co-operative today and the conversation went like this....

hi love, where are your corn kernels?

our what?

corn kernels

what are they?

what you make popcorn from?

you dont make popcorn, popcorn just is...


no love, you have to make it.... from corn kernels....



no, it just comes in a bag, like this......(shows me popcorn)

yes love, but im after the stuff you make it from...


now yer just takin the ****..... im busy yer know...


Shocked

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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spannerman69
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Odometer: 2807
Location: st.helens



PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 5:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sure you didn`t do a wrong turn and end up in wigan lol .
Very Happy

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** GED **
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 1926
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mate, she was in her forties too.

not even a kid Rolling Eyes

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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absquatulation
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Odometer: 1904
Location: Lost



PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What do you expect from Liverpoool!
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Please Note: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when Simon is not directly observed, he may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.

I'm not here......
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gadgetboy
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 03 Sep 2005
Odometer: 1947
Location: Belfast, N. Ireland



PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would have asked for popping corn but that's just me.
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spannerman69
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Odometer: 2807
Location: st.helens



PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

** GED ** wrote:
mate, she was in her forties too.

not even a kid Rolling Eyes


that explains it then , too many wine gums in the morning .

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duke
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 15 Jun 2006
Odometer: 2005
Location: Thatcham Newbury surf 2.4td



PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Microwave popcorn is best Wink
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5241




PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She should have gone to the garden centre and asked for popcorn tree seeds - would have been more fun for her.

J
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jeremy
Just got MTs


Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Odometer: 459
Location: Lydd Kentshire



PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sadly, Yes I believe you. It is the sad state of affairs we all seem to be living in.
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( Gray )
Articulating


Joined: 15 Apr 2012
Odometer: 593




PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My local co-op employs an fifty-something female assistant who must have been off sick the day her school learnt the six times table, because on more than one occasion I've asked for twelve first class stamps only to be told they'd run out of books of twelve and only had books of six...
"OK, I'll have twelve first class stamps please."
"No, we don't have any books of twelve, only books of six."
"Fine, I'll take twelve stamps then..."
I've just told you, we only have books of six first class stamps..."

I'm in no rush to get home in the morning, I can carry on with this merry-go-round for hours...
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5241




PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Her twin sister works in my local WHSmith. They must have both been off sick on the same day. They must also be telepathic as exactly the same happened to me. It ended up with her loosing it a bit and saying "I keep on telling you we aint go no stamps" so I said OK, I will have 12 of the stamps you have got.

I think I will ask her for a spirit level bubble next time I go there, or maybe I will try the off-licence.

J
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RichardD
Marshall


Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Odometer: 22847
Location: State of Confusion



PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once got shown to the tins of Jolly Green Giant sweetcorn when asking for popping corn/kernels.

My favourite wind up story was a mate (decades ago) was sent by the [female] office manager to fetch some fallopian tubes because they had run out. He spent the ENTIRE day running around the centre of Glasgow looking for them and every department store gave him the runaround as well.

He was properly embarrassed when his Mum let him in on the joke

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Poking the Grim Reaper with a stick then running away. The devil made me do it but God said it was okay with him.
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5241




PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 7:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Our store boy was sent out once to get a stamp for a French Letter. He came back with a packet of safety pins but I don't know how or why someone conned him into getting them as he was too embarassed to tell us.

J
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** GED **
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 1926
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i was sent to stores for a long weight.....

the storeman came out to find me sitting on the comfy chair in the corner of his reception reading a paper. after a quick explanation he just grinned and left me to it....


three hours later i waltzed back in to find the warrant occifer apoplectic.


i just played dumb

Wink

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20560
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 2:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice work in the last 2 posts.
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The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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deathbus
Just got MTs


Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Odometer: 121




PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 4:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

once sent a lad to the shop for skin biscuits, 4 of them lol
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** GED **
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 1926
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

at the stables yesterday putting the horse out with Beth.

she was stood there holding a carrot. next to the electric fence...

i couldnt resist it.......

as i walked away i shouted over my shoulder....

"hey beth, do carrots conduct electricity?"

i was half way up the field when i heard the screams Laughing Twisted Evil

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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