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Burnyburnybumbum

 
 
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5309




PostPosted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 12:08 pm    Post subject: Burnyburnybumbum Reply with quote

Burnyburnybumbum or sweet revenge.

Take some scotch bonnet or similar very hot chillies and place in the kitchen blender with some water. Blend to make the chillies as small as possible.

Put the mix in a saucepan and slowly heat up and leave to simmer for a few minutes then leave to cool.

Filter the liquid to remove any seeds or pieces and pour the liquid into a shallow tray.

Take a toilet roll, preferably a fancy coloured one, and unroll a length of paper but leaving the unrolled length attached to the roll.

Soak the unrolled paper in the liquid then allow it to dry. When dry re-roll the paper on to the toilet roll and place in the toilet just before your "best friend" goes for a dump.

J
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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20683
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't condone that! Cool Laughing
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The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 11:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

done worse....

never fall asleep before me.

Shocked

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20683
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

** GED ** wrote:
done worse....

never fall asleep before me.

Shocked


Oh I can believe!

__________________________________
The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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absquatulation
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Odometer: 1917
Location: Lost



PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nightbar wrote:
** GED ** wrote:
done worse....

never fall asleep before me.

Shocked


Oh I can believe!


Your wallet will disappear really fast?

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I'm not here......
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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

condom full of mayonnaise in someones bed and a chili up his jacksie. that one was a bit naughty....

shaved someones pubes and glued them to his eyebrows. with superglue.

chili up each nostril

you seen the one where you put shaving cream in someones hand and tickle their face? swap the shaving foam for superglue....

mustard in your mouth, nose, any orifice exposed.

thunderflash in the portaloo....

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

swap the BBQ lighting fluid for AVTUR
__________________________________
the other co-founder of the DCJC

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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

or to really cause chaos, accidentally leave a bomb in the engine bay of the station commanders spare car.


that was worse than the goat in the new boss`s room....


even EOD werent happy... Embarassed

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

then we put the stn commanders wifes mini on the mess roof when he got ******.
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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

marzipan thrown into the bushes by the dog section when your least favorite stinky was on duty
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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

my (then) best mate coming in the the living room during a family party and seeing me, after a bottle of vodka teaching his 85 year old nan how to light her own farts....
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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

and sooooo many more
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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20683
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 4:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

** GED ** wrote:
my (then) best mate coming in the the living room during a family party and seeing me, after a bottle of vodka teaching his 85 year old nan how to light her own farts....


Mental image ~ can never be unseen Laughing Laughing Laughing

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The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5309




PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Saw something similar at a hen party on a beach when the bird with the hairiest muff in the world did that and the resulting flare up set fire to her pubes.

J
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5309




PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

** GED ** wrote:
condom full of mayonnaise in someones bed ...


Reminds me of when a condom (why do we call them condoms now, what's wrong with french letter?) with some condensed milk in it was left in the bed of someone who was a bit "sensitive" and freaked out when he found it and threw up when someone else picked up the french letter and drank the contents saying that he would never waste such lovely stuff.

J
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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2011
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jojo wrote:
** GED ** wrote:
condom full of mayonnaise in someones bed ...


Reminds me of when a condom (why do we call them condoms now, what's wrong with french letter?) with some condensed milk in it was left in the bed of someone who was a bit "sensitive" and freaked out when he found it and threw up when someone else picked up the french letter and drank the contents saying that he would never waste such lovely stuff.

J




filed away for future reference Twisted Evil

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5309




PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 9:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Joe ran a small import/export business but with all this Brexit stuff and the low times were becoming very hard. He had two employees, Jack and Gill, they were both good and he liked them both but with times so hard he was going to have to lay one of them off only he couldn't decide which one.

He spent all weekend worrying about it and still couldn't decide so he thought the only way would be to let the first one who came into his office would be the one he let go.

It was Gill. He was finding it so difficult to say waht he had to say and finally blurted out "It's really hard at the moment and I will have to lay you or Jack off".

Gill replied "Oh, that's a shame, it's my time of the month. Can't you just jack off?"
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