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jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 12:08 pm Post subject: Burnyburnybumbum
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Burnyburnybumbum or sweet revenge.
Take some scotch bonnet or similar very hot chillies and place in the kitchen blender with some water. Blend to make the chillies as small as possible.
Put the mix in a saucepan and slowly heat up and leave to simmer for a few minutes then leave to cool.
Filter the liquid to remove any seeds or pieces and pour the liquid into a shallow tray.
Take a toilet roll, preferably a fancy coloured one, and unroll a length of paper but leaving the unrolled length attached to the roll.
Soak the unrolled paper in the liquid then allow it to dry. When dry re-roll the paper on to the toilet roll and place in the toilet just before your "best friend" goes for a dump.
J
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 4:48 pm Post subject:
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I can't condone that!
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2019 11:18 pm Post subject:
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done worse....
never fall asleep before me.
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
Member of TEAM CHAOS |
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:14 am Post subject:
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** GED ** wrote: | done worse....
never fall asleep before me.
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Oh I can believe!
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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absquatulation Off-Road Guru
Joined: 17 Apr 2005 Odometer: 1922 Location: Lost
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:40 pm Post subject:
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Nightbar wrote: | ** GED ** wrote: | done worse....
never fall asleep before me.
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Oh I can believe! |
Your wallet will disappear really fast?
__________________________________ I'm not here...... |
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:54 pm Post subject:
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condom full of mayonnaise in someones bed and a chili up his jacksie. that one was a bit naughty....
shaved someones pubes and glued them to his eyebrows. with superglue.
chili up each nostril
you seen the one where you put shaving cream in someones hand and tickle their face? swap the shaving foam for superglue....
mustard in your mouth, nose, any orifice exposed.
thunderflash in the portaloo....
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:55 pm Post subject:
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swap the BBQ lighting fluid for AVTUR
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:57 pm Post subject:
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or to really cause chaos, accidentally leave a bomb in the engine bay of the station commanders spare car.
that was worse than the goat in the new boss`s room....
even EOD werent happy...
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:57 pm Post subject:
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then we put the stn commanders wifes mini on the mess roof when he got ******.
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:04 pm Post subject:
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marzipan thrown into the bushes by the dog section when your least favorite stinky was on duty
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:06 pm Post subject:
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my (then) best mate coming in the the living room during a family party and seeing me, after a bottle of vodka teaching his 85 year old nan how to light her own farts....
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:07 pm Post subject:
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and sooooo many more
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 4:39 am Post subject:
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** GED ** wrote: | my (then) best mate coming in the the living room during a family party and seeing me, after a bottle of vodka teaching his 85 year old nan how to light her own farts.... |
Mental image ~ can never be unseen
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
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Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:23 am Post subject:
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Saw something similar at a hen party on a beach when the bird with the hairiest muff in the world did that and the resulting flare up set fire to her pubes.
J
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jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
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Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:30 am Post subject:
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** GED ** wrote: | condom full of mayonnaise in someones bed ... |
Reminds me of when a condom (why do we call them condoms now, what's wrong with french letter?) with some condensed milk in it was left in the bed of someone who was a bit "sensitive" and freaked out when he found it and threw up when someone else picked up the french letter and drank the contents saying that he would never waste such lovely stuff.
J
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:18 pm Post subject:
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jojo wrote: | ** GED ** wrote: | condom full of mayonnaise in someones bed ... |
Reminds me of when a condom (why do we call them condoms now, what's wrong with french letter?) with some condensed milk in it was left in the bed of someone who was a bit "sensitive" and freaked out when he found it and threw up when someone else picked up the french letter and drank the contents saying that he would never waste such lovely stuff.
J |
filed away for future reference
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
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Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 9:29 am Post subject:
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Joe ran a small import/export business but with all this Brexit stuff and the low £ times were becoming very hard. He had two employees, Jack and Gill, they were both good and he liked them both but with times so hard he was going to have to lay one of them off only he couldn't decide which one.
He spent all weekend worrying about it and still couldn't decide so he thought the only way would be to let the first one who came into his office would be the one he let go.
It was Gill. He was finding it so difficult to say waht he had to say and finally blurted out "It's really hard at the moment and I will have to lay you or Jack off".
Gill replied "Oh, that's a shame, it's my time of the month. Can't you just jack off?"
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