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Crap Joke Club joke
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5277




PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2018 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries
and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
I meant my dress size, you idiot!
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Damian
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 12 Jun 2002
Odometer: 8824
Location: Bolton, a town far, far away....



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've had to cancel my meeting at constipated anonymous tonight - I can't go.
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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20639
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^ groan ^^^

Cool

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The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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Damian
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 12 Jun 2002
Odometer: 8824
Location: Bolton, a town far, far away....



PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jokes about sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar, well, demerara.
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The Difflock 3 are safe..... but you can still send cheques..!


Fetch me a coffee & no one gets hurt.
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Damian
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 12 Jun 2002
Odometer: 8824
Location: Bolton, a town far, far away....



PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whilst I'm still here, Ive got a polish friend whos a sound engineer.
Ive got a Czech one too...

__________________________________
The Difflock 3 are safe..... but you can still send cheques..!


Fetch me a coffee & no one gets hurt.
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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20639
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool
__________________________________
The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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Damian
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 12 Jun 2002
Odometer: 8824
Location: Bolton, a town far, far away....



PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2019 5:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Me: What's the Wi-Fi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a beer.
Barman: Is Birra Moretti okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Barman: 4.
Me: There you go. So what's the Wi-Fi password?
Barman: you need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase...

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The Difflock 3 are safe..... but you can still send cheques..!


Fetch me a coffee & no one gets hurt.
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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20639
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2019 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool
__________________________________
The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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