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Age related ....

 
 
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w3526602
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Odometer: 10676
Location: Glynneath, South Wales



PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 6:36 pm    Post subject: Age related .... Reply with quote

Hi,

SWMBO insisted I needed hearing aids. Today I was fitted with tiny all singing/dancing thingies ... 2,400 Shocked I can think of more interesting ways to spend that sort of money.

I can now hear all sorts of things that I couldn't hear yesterday.

The word "tinkle" has taken on a whole new meaning.

602

__________________________________
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer, cos if it doesn't fit, the hammer is not big enough.
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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20409
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ageing isn't a problem as long you can still laugh: and here's one I heard for the first time today...

...Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson.

Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left.

He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers.

Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.

"What the heck are you doing Mick" says Paddy.

"Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, "but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor".

__________________________________
The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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w3526602
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Odometer: 10676
Location: Glynneath, South Wales



PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 7:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi,

First sign of old age ... forgetting to lift your zipper.

Second sign of old age ... forgetting to drop your zipper

There are three rules about growing old ...

1. Never pass a toilet

2. Never waste an erection.

3. Never trust a fart.

602

__________________________________
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer, cos if it doesn't fit, the hammer is not big enough.
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5193




PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote











J
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** GED **
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 1756
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I got two hearing aids
__________________________________
the other co-founder of the DCJC

Member of TEAM CHAOS
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5193




PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So have I, one either side of my head, but do these rules apply to you?






J
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** GED **
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 1756
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nope.
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the other co-founder of the DCJC

Member of TEAM CHAOS
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sirdoodle918
Gate Opener


Joined: 20 Apr 2017
Odometer: 31
Location: United States



PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a sad truth and a sad reality... We all age, and we have to accept it somehow. I know it may be hard, but everyone has to at least try to adapt. I hope you stay strong, my friend! And don't forget, it's not the end of the world. Just make the most of what you can while you can! Not just you, everyone should do that! =)
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5193




PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sirdoodle918 wrote:
I know it may be hard,



I need to know if it is hard, not just "may" be hard!!!

J
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( Gray )
Articulating


Joined: 15 Apr 2012
Odometer: 586




PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Growing old is compulsory; growing up is optional.
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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20409
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2017 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

5 stars
__________________________________
The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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