View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
w3526602 Difflock Royalty
Joined: 10 Jun 2002 Odometer: 10758 Location: Glynneath, South Wales
|
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 6:36 pm Post subject: Age related ....
|
|
|
Hi,
SWMBO insisted I needed hearing aids. Today I was fitted with tiny all singing/dancing thingies ... £2,400 I can think of more interesting ways to spend that sort of money.
I can now hear all sorts of things that I couldn't hear yesterday.
The word "tinkle" has taken on a whole new meaning.
602
__________________________________ Don't force it, use a bigger hammer, cos if it doesn't fit, the hammer is not big enough. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
|
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 8:16 pm Post subject:
|
|
|
Ageing isn't a problem as long you can still laugh: and here's one I heard for the first time today...
...Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson.
Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left.
He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers.
Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.
"What the heck are you doing Mick" says Paddy.
"Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, "but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor".
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
w3526602 Difflock Royalty
Joined: 10 Jun 2002 Odometer: 10758 Location: Glynneath, South Wales
|
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 7:11 am Post subject:
|
|
|
Hi,
First sign of old age ... forgetting to lift your zipper.
Second sign of old age ... forgetting to drop your zipper
There are three rules about growing old ...
1. Never pass a toilet
2. Never waste an erection.
3. Never trust a fart.
602
__________________________________ Don't force it, use a bigger hammer, cos if it doesn't fit, the hammer is not big enough. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
|
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:57 am Post subject:
|
|
|
J
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
|
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:22 pm Post subject:
|
|
|
I got two hearing aids
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
Member of TEAM CHAOS |
|
Back to top |
|
|
jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
|
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:00 pm Post subject:
|
|
|
So have I, one either side of my head, but do these rules apply to you?
J
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
|
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 10:09 pm Post subject:
|
|
|
Nope.
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
Member of TEAM CHAOS |
|
Back to top |
|
|
sirdoodle918 Gate Opener
Joined: 20 Apr 2017 Odometer: 31 Location: United States
|
Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:24 am Post subject:
|
|
|
It's a sad truth and a sad reality... We all age, and we have to accept it somehow. I know it may be hard, but everyone has to at least try to adapt. I hope you stay strong, my friend! And don't forget, it's not the end of the world. Just make the most of what you can while you can! Not just you, everyone should do that! =)
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
|
Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:02 am Post subject:
|
|
|
sirdoodle918 wrote: | I know it may be hard, |
I need to know if it is hard, not just "may" be hard!!!
J
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
( Gray ) Articulating
Joined: 15 Apr 2012 Odometer: 597
|
Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:04 am Post subject:
|
|
|
Growing old is compulsory; growing up is optional.
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
|
Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2017 7:10 am Post subject:
|
|
|
5 stars
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot post calendar events in this forum
|
|
|