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jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 9:56 am Post subject: All together
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A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field stood by himself while all the other kids are running around having fun - She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him
'Are you OK?' she says. 'Yes' he says.
'You can play with the other kids you know' she says. 'It's best I stay here' he says.
'Why?' says the blonde............................
The boy says 'Because I'm the bloody goalie'
J
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one2killu Off-Road Guru
Joined: 09 Jan 2010 Odometer: 1021 Location: suffolk
1996 Suzuki Samurai
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:46 am Post subject:
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mike328 Articulating
Joined: 10 Dec 2014 Odometer: 793 Location: Suffolk!
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 11:19 am Post subject:
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St. Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when 40 Liverpool fans showed up. Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, St. Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the 10 most virtuous from the group.
A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone."
"What? All of the Liverpool fans are gone?" asked God.
"No" replied Saint Peter "The Pearly Gates!"
__________________________________ Snap On: Turning drawers into status symbols since 1920. |
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 12:11 pm Post subject:
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Excellent. Stolen...
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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Xpajun Mud Obsessed
Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Odometer: 3245
1988 Mitsubishi Shogun
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 1:05 pm Post subject:
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Nightbar wrote: | Excellent. Stolen... |
Errrrrrrrrrr..................
Oh never mind
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one2killu Off-Road Guru
Joined: 09 Jan 2010 Odometer: 1021 Location: suffolk
1996 Suzuki Samurai
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 4:34 pm Post subject:
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Was my joke to much for the lounge mr moderator
I do apologise
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mike328 Articulating
Joined: 10 Dec 2014 Odometer: 793 Location: Suffolk!
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 5:00 pm Post subject:
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one of mine too... no excuses.....
__________________________________ Snap On: Turning drawers into status symbols since 1920. |
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 6:01 pm Post subject:
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one2killu wrote: | Was my joke to much for the lounge mr moderator
I do apologise |
What was it?
(Or try the smoking room...)
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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one2killu Off-Road Guru
Joined: 09 Jan 2010 Odometer: 1021 Location: suffolk
1996 Suzuki Samurai
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 6:54 pm Post subject:
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I won't repeat it , don't want to upset anyone . I did try the smoking room seems you need to request access these days , pending an answer
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 7:33 pm Post subject:
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They let me in...
...but that's no judge!
Probs a good idea not to repeat
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 8:05 pm Post subject:
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i broke in
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
Member of TEAM CHAOS |
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one2killu Off-Road Guru
Joined: 09 Jan 2010 Odometer: 1021 Location: suffolk
1996 Suzuki Samurai
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 8:24 pm Post subject:
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😁 GED broke in
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mike328 Articulating
Joined: 10 Dec 2014 Odometer: 793 Location: Suffolk!
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 8:36 pm Post subject:
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** GED ** wrote: | i broke in |
Used one of the posts from the pearly gates as a pry bar...
__________________________________ Snap On: Turning drawers into status symbols since 1920. |
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:26 pm Post subject:
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Ged: In out in out shake it all about...
...
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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RichardD Marshall
Joined: 13 Mar 2003 Odometer: 22856 Location: State of Confusion
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 12:04 pm Post subject:
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one2killu wrote: | I won't repeat it , don't want to upset anyone . I did try the smoking room seems you need to request access these days , pending an answer |
sorted
__________________________________ Poking the Grim Reaper with a stick then running away. The devil made me do it but God said it was okay with him. |
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one2killu Off-Road Guru
Joined: 09 Jan 2010 Odometer: 1021 Location: suffolk
1996 Suzuki Samurai
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 12:51 pm Post subject:
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Thank you .
Here's a good clean one for the family :
I bought my new dog home the other day ,
We called him sandwich .
He was half bred
Ta dah 😄
Ik right
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absquatulation Off-Road Guru
Joined: 17 Apr 2005 Odometer: 1922 Location: Lost
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 2:29 pm Post subject:
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I was in a band once, called Duvet,
It was a cover band.
__________________________________ I'm not here...... |
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mike328 Articulating
Joined: 10 Dec 2014 Odometer: 793 Location: Suffolk!
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 2:48 pm Post subject:
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Shouldn't that be in the 'I was in band' thread...
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
__________________________________ Snap On: Turning drawers into status symbols since 1920. |
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 3:39 pm Post subject:
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that joke has just put paid to two thousand years of Christianity......
well done that man.
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
Member of TEAM CHAOS |
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:16 am Post subject:
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And a merry christmas to you all!
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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Xpajun Mud Obsessed
Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Odometer: 3245
1988 Mitsubishi Shogun
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 9:37 pm Post subject:
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Saw this post in a pagan forum the other day:
"I like to celebrate Yule, but we celebrate Christmas for my husband and daughter as they are atheists"
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mike328 Articulating
Joined: 10 Dec 2014 Odometer: 793 Location: Suffolk!
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:40 pm Post subject:
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Xpajun wrote: | I like to celebrate Yule, but we celebrate Christmas for my husband and daughter as they are greedy drunk materialistic present grabbers |
edited for cynical modern realism
Sorry everyone, Merry Christmas
__________________________________ Snap On: Turning drawers into status symbols since 1920. |
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teamidris Mud Obsessed
Joined: 24 Feb 2008 Odometer: 3372 Location: Staffordshire UK
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