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i must be getting old

 
 
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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
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Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2015 11:50 am    Post subject: i must be getting old Reply with quote

theres soooo many jokes i dont know where to start.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3234451...l-car-10-000.html

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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Orangev81
Just got MTs


Joined: 16 Feb 2012
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went to the doctors yesterday and said...Doctor, I've got a sore throat.

A little raw he said, so I said roar

10k for that.....bargain!!

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I would rather have a bad days trialing than a good day at work!
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jojo
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Joined: 11 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The other day I found a suitcase in the park. When I opened it, it had a false bottom and £100,000 in used notes.
I couldn't believe my luck. All my life I've wanted a suitcase with a false bottom.
__________________________________________
I've just tucked my shirt in.
I don't know why I put it to bed so early.
__________________________________________
I called my doctor's surgery this morning.
"I need to make an appointment for as soon as possible please. Everything in my ear is echoing."
"Ok," she replied. "How does tomorrow sound?"
I said, "Morrow, orrow, ow."
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teamidris
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Joined: 24 Feb 2008
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Location: Staffordshire UK



PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 9:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas,
How it got in my pyjamas I'll never know?

Has to be my favorite, but I like;

I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow and when I woke up the pillow was gone!

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https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC3l3zoaCabKrgBSULSV1YgA
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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2039
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 11:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

not the exact jokes i was thinking of, but hey!

an insect just flew in through my window and exploded...

i think it was a Jihaddy longlegs

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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jojo
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went to see my brother in law where he works but he wasn't there.

They told me he had gone to work for another firm of solicitors!

J
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GVstu
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Joined: 05 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

** GED ** wrote:
not the exact jokes i was thinking of, but hey!

an insect just flew in through my window and exploded...

i think it was a Jihaddy longlegs



Hahaha Very Happy

We're plagued by them at the moment, I do a great impression of a daddy long legs trying to get stuck in my wife's hair.

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He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand; And I said, "Listen! I've traveled every road in this here land!"
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jojo
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GVstu wrote:
** GED ** wrote:
not the exact jokes i was thinking of, but hey!

an insect just flew in through my window and exploded...

i think it was a Jihaddy longlegs



Hahaha Very Happy

We're plagued by them at the moment, I do a great impression of a daddy long legs trying to get stuck in my wife's hair.


If there were several of them trying to get into your wife's hair would that make a Jihaddynet?

J
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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
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Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

just a slight side note, but does anyone know what the plural for daddy long legs is?
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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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Nightbar
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Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good point, but I wonder what the politically correct term for a Daddy Long Legs is.... Cool
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Xpajun
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1988 Mitsubishi Shogun

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

** GED ** wrote:
just a slight side note, but does anyone know what the plural for daddy long legs is?



Long-legged-daddies?


Nightbar wrote:
Good point, but I wonder what the politically correct term for a Daddy Long Legs is.... Cool


politically correct is not required as it is a Daddy Long Legs not a Mummy long legs or a Jeremy Clarkson N word long legs Rolling Eyes Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

Seriously though as it is officially called a Crane Fly - plural being Crane Flies - I don't think either of the above come in to it Laughing
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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
Odometer: 2039
Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

five points to that man. daddy long legs is a nick name and a collective noun to boot.

the correct term is indeed craneflies

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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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jojo
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Joined: 11 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 10:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

** GED ** wrote:
just a slight side note, but does anyone know what the plural for daddy long legs is?


The plural for daddy long legs could be daddy long legses. But it is rather a long way to describe them - even as the crane flys!

J
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vtrax
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Joined: 26 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 6:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a myth anyway .....................


Daddy longlegs's legs aren't actually that long. Shocked

They look long comparative to their bodies, but they are actually quite short.

Badgers & several types of antelope have longer legs.
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** GED **
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 18 Jun 2014
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Location: Scouser



PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 8:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

its too early to reply......
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the other co-founder of the DCJC

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jojo
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Joined: 11 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

vtrax wrote:


Badgers & several types of antelope have longer legs.


So does Naomi Campbell and some other birds.

J
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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
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Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm keeping my inside leg out of this... Cool
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