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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 11:08 pm Post subject: you wont believe this.....
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went into the local Co-operative today and the conversation went like this....
hi love, where are your corn kernels?
our what?
corn kernels
what are they?
what you make popcorn from?
you dont make popcorn, popcorn just is...
no love, you have to make it.... from corn kernels....
no, it just comes in a bag, like this......(shows me popcorn)
yes love, but im after the stuff you make it from...
now yer just takin the ****..... im busy yer know...
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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spannerman69 Mud Obsessed
Joined: 01 Oct 2003 Odometer: 2807 Location: st.helens
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 5:13 pm Post subject:
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sure you didn`t do a wrong turn and end up in wigan lol .
__________________________________ member of the dcjc |
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 6:03 pm Post subject:
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mate, she was in her forties too.
not even a kid
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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absquatulation Off-Road Guru
Joined: 17 Apr 2005 Odometer: 1922 Location: Lost
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:11 pm Post subject:
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What do you expect from Liverpoool!
__________________________________ I'm not here...... |
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gadgetboy Off-Road Guru
Joined: 03 Sep 2005 Odometer: 1947 Location: Belfast, N. Ireland
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:23 pm Post subject:
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I would have asked for popping corn but that's just me.
__________________________________ Move along. Nothing to see here. |
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spannerman69 Mud Obsessed
Joined: 01 Oct 2003 Odometer: 2807 Location: st.helens
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:41 pm Post subject:
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** GED ** wrote: | mate, she was in her forties too.
not even a kid |
that explains it then , too many wine gums in the morning .
__________________________________ member of the dcjc |
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duke Mud Obsessed
Joined: 15 Jun 2006 Odometer: 2005 Location: Thatcham Newbury surf 2.4td
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:48 pm Post subject:
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Microwave popcorn is best
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jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:53 pm Post subject:
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She should have gone to the garden centre and asked for popcorn tree seeds - would have been more fun for her.
J
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jeremy Just got MTs
Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Odometer: 467 Location: Lydd Kentshire
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Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:17 pm Post subject:
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Sadly, Yes I believe you. It is the sad state of affairs we all seem to be living in.
__________________________________ Nissan patrol, Jimny. |
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( Gray ) Articulating
Joined: 15 Apr 2012 Odometer: 597
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Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:27 am Post subject:
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My local co-op employs an fifty-something female assistant who must have been off sick the day her school learnt the six times table, because on more than one occasion I've asked for twelve first class stamps only to be told they'd run out of books of twelve and only had books of six...
"OK, I'll have twelve first class stamps please."
"No, we don't have any books of twelve, only books of six."
"Fine, I'll take twelve stamps then..."
I've just told you, we only have books of six first class stamps..."
I'm in no rush to get home in the morning, I can carry on with this merry-go-round for hours...
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jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
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Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 9:02 am Post subject:
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Her twin sister works in my local WHSmith. They must have both been off sick on the same day. They must also be telepathic as exactly the same happened to me. It ended up with her loosing it a bit and saying "I keep on telling you we aint go no stamps" so I said OK, I will have 12 of the stamps you have got.
I think I will ask her for a spirit level bubble next time I go there, or maybe I will try the off-licence.
J
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RichardD Marshall
Joined: 13 Mar 2003 Odometer: 22856 Location: State of Confusion
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Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 1:46 pm Post subject:
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I once got shown to the tins of Jolly Green Giant sweetcorn when asking for popping corn/kernels.
My favourite wind up story was a mate (decades ago) was sent by the [female] office manager to fetch some fallopian tubes because they had run out. He spent the ENTIRE day running around the centre of Glasgow looking for them and every department store gave him the runaround as well.
He was properly embarrassed when his Mum let him in on the joke
__________________________________ Poking the Grim Reaper with a stick then running away. The devil made me do it but God said it was okay with him. |
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jojo Mud Obsessed
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Odometer: 5422
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Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 7:29 pm Post subject:
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Our store boy was sent out once to get a stamp for a French Letter. He came back with a packet of safety pins but I don't know how or why someone conned him into getting them as he was too embarassed to tell us.
J
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:22 pm Post subject:
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i was sent to stores for a long weight.....
the storeman came out to find me sitting on the comfy chair in the corner of his reception reading a paper. after a quick explanation he just grinned and left me to it....
three hours later i waltzed back in to find the warrant occifer apoplectic.
i just played dumb
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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Nightbar Difflock Royalty
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Odometer: 20799 Location: In a state of anticipation...
1999 Land Rover Defender
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Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 2:18 pm Post subject:
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Nice work in the last 2 posts.
__________________________________ The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.
Plant a tree for the Difflock 3 |
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deathbus Just got MTs
Joined: 13 Apr 2009 Odometer: 121
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Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 4:20 pm Post subject:
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once sent a lad to the shop for skin biscuits, 4 of them lol
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** GED ** Mud Obsessed
Joined: 18 Jun 2014 Odometer: 2039 Location: Scouser
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Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 4:39 pm Post subject:
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at the stables yesterday putting the horse out with Beth.
she was stood there holding a carrot. next to the electric fence...
i couldnt resist it.......
as i walked away i shouted over my shoulder....
"hey beth, do carrots conduct electricity?"
i was half way up the field when i heard the screams
__________________________________ the other co-founder of the DCJC
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