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TV Licenses
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( Gray )
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Joined: 15 Apr 2012
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HIM wrote:
Ill bow to your greater knowledge on that one mate

Shocked

I've made a note of the date in my diary... Laughing

Some helpful tips regarding watching tv can be found HERE
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** GED **
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

git!

Very Happy Very Happy
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.
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 9:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

( Gray ) wrote:


Some helpful tips regarding watching tv can be found HERE


Quote:
IF YOU HAVE a tv, BUT DON'T WATCH it, you DON'T NEED A LICENCE

Many wrongly believe that you'll need to be covered by a TV licence if you have the ability to watch "live TV", this is even if you don't watch it.

This is an urban myth: just because you have the ability to watch "live TV" doesn't neccessarily mean you need a licence. You'll only need a licence if you actually watch "live TV".

So, if you've got an aerial on your roof/satellite dish/TV with built-in Freeview etc, but you don't actually watch "live TV", you don't need a licence.


I stand corrected

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** GED **
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

gray`s diary is busy today....
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( Gray )
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I need a lie down...
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** GED **
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

this is late for you....
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Nightbar
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aye and this has been covered many times.

I'm almost of a mind to suggest that Difflock adds a 'TV Licence' FAQ coz this topic has been done to death many times.

Let's let it go.

Look on the bright side - I pay the TV fee and can't even watch the BBC 'owing to international licensing rights' where I am.

So enough all of you!

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jojo
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wot Nightbar said - this has been done to death many times and as far as I can tell the regulations haven't changed so why not give this one a rest.

Speaking of a rest, I will sit back and watch the telly for which I have free licence for on account of my old age.

J

PS: I wouldn't mind paying for a licence if there was anything worth watching.
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Nightbar
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^ wot he said ^^^

Enjoy!

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** GED **
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nightbar wrote:
Aye and this has been covered many times.

I'm almost of a mind to suggest that Difflock adds a 'TV Licence' FAQ coz this topic has been done to death many times.

Let's let it go.

Look on the bright side - I pay the TV fee and can't even watch the BBC 'owing to international licensing rights' where I am.

So enough all of you!


just use the proxy server we gave you last time..........
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w3526602
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will sit back and watch the telly for which I have free licence for on account of my old age.

Hi,

Sorry to add a bit this late in the discussion. My SWMBO says she would complain about the poor TV programs ... IF she paid for our licence.

In France, you have to pay for a licence if you own a TV on the 1st January. We used to bring ours back to UK for the winter. But that licence covers every TV that you own, anywhere in France. The licence fee is collected in the "Council Rates", and you have to request a deduction ... in a foreign language.

We only used our TV to watch Brit DVDs.

My son said that he tried to explain the concept of TV licencing to people in Australia, said they couldn't understand what he was on about.

602

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Nightbar
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Or in Germany I believe that you are (used to be) required to pay for a licence for each set you have...


...not sure how the numbers add up on that and I can't be bothered to look it up!

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DD
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yup, Aussies aren't the brightest...... Wink
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** GED **
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah. thats right DD. bloody thick Aussies.

not like us clever brits that put all our criminals on boats and sent them all to one of the nicest places on earth with great weather and fantastic offroading.

nah, us clever brits stayed here in the ******* down rain looking at fields we cant go in.

bloody thick aussies.....













oh..... Think
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Nightbar
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ahhh - where's Bundyrum when you need him!
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Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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w3526602
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 6:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi,,

Some years ago, there was a long description of the characteristics of Aussies , according to which state they live in. I think it was on Difflock.

Very non-PC.

Can anybody post a copy?

602

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Don't force it, use a bigger hammer, cos if it doesn't fit, the hammer is not big enough.
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Nightbar
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember that...

...let me have a look Cool

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absquatulation
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a version, but it's about our soon-to-be-ex-brethren north of the border.


Scotland – An explanation

I thought I would write a piece about Scotland for Wiki, but decided to check it for accuracy on here first.

All comments welcome.

Geology
Scotland didn’t exist until the Emperor Hadrian, correctly identifying the threat from Scandinavia (only 6 or 7 centuries too early) had a defensive wall built along the northern shoreline of what would later become England.

His Sappers tipped the spoil from digging out the foundations of the wall in to the sea, and this spoil gradually settled to become land.

The weight of the spoil disturbed the underlying geology off the sea-bed, resulting in unique deposits welling up through the settling land-mass. These included the sp*nk off long-dead dinosaurs, which rose through the earth to form porridge bogs; and dinosaur SPAM - rendered by the pressure of the earth above - which bubbled up to create Lard Geysers. Both these came to play a key role in the diet of the people who came later.

People
No-one is exactly sure where the people who came to be known as ‘Scots’ came from , but modern Anthropologists speculate they may have come from the cross-breeding of dwarf Neanderthals with a now extinct species off particularly vicious Orang-Utangs resulting in the small, gingerish race which now inhabits Scotland.

Possibly driven out of more civilised cultures, the ‘Scots’ arrived in Scotland and began to populate it. As TV had not yet been invented, the ‘Scots’ favourite pass-time was incest and so they lived in big family groups called ‘clans’ just to make getting a shag easier.

Kings
From earliest times Scotland has been ruled by whoever could shout ‘let’s kill the English ********’ the loudest. Previous kings of Scotland have included Sean the Wifebeater, Mel the Gibson, King Harry of Lauder and Alexfurgy the Mad. All the kings have had the same consort from time immemorial, Princess Susan of Boyle (alternating Wednesdays and afternoon matinees she may be replaced by Princess Janet of Krankies.

Religion
From earliest times the ‘Scots’ have been natural Catholics as they enjoy many of the same foibles as Rome, i.e. dressing in women’s type clothing, talking unintelligible drivel, and molesting small children. However, some have broken away to form a counter-religion, and now the two main religions in Scotland are called ‘Rangers’ and ‘Celtic’.

Dress
The ‘Scots’ distinctive national dress developed from the desire to easily rise and go to the ‘Brew’ to sign-on. Consequently they would get out of bed, draping their blanket around themselves and head out of the door. This developed in to the ‘kilt’, which also catered to the ‘Scots’ predilection for cross-dressing. Wearing a skirt also made it easier to molest small animals and sheep.

The ‘Scots’ persisted in wearing skirts until the gentle civilising influence of the English made many ‘Scots’ realise that cross-dressing was not really on.

Culture
There are many cultures in Scotland, the majority being treatable with antibiotics. The only incurable one is called ‘SPAM’, which results in the sufferer wearing loud clothes, lying, and driving around in a small clown car.

Food
Before the potato was brought back from the New World, the Scots diet consisted almost exclusively of porridge dug from the porridge bogs, and Haggis, a small wild animal related to the Treacle Badger.

Their main drink, ‘whisky’, is actually Haggis ****. Single ‘malt’ whisky is taken from older, wilier Haggis which are more difficult to catch, hence the commensurate rise in cost.
Following the introduction of the potato, the ‘Scots’ discovered that dipping them in the Lard Geysers resulted in them becoming fried. By cutting potatoes in to small pieces to speed cooking time, the ‘chip’ was invented, and this is now the staple food. In recent times many non-indigenous food-stuffs have been imported in to Scotland, but all are, by tradition, fried.

National income.
Comes from taking spams on a haggis shoot.

Sport.
No sport to talk about. But they do try to emulate other countries by attempting to copy football and rugby.


Exports
The main exports from Scotland are:
Swearing, fighting, shouting unintelligibly, whisky, soldiers, loud golfing clothes.



Scottish battle honours

Mons Graupius - (84 AD) 10,000 Picts and 340 Romans killed when Calgacus fought Agricola. Romans win!

Dunbar - (1296) Edward I of England invades Scotland and defeats them at Dunbar

Falkirk - (1298 ) William Wallace and his army defeated by Edward I

Halidon Hill- (1333) Edward the 3rd of England defeated the Scots.

Homildon Hill - (1402) Northumberland, England - Scots defeated.

Flodden - (1513) King James IV loses decisive battle against the English, and is killed on the field

Pinkie - (1547) Duke of Somerset destroys the Scots, just outside Edinburgh

Dunkeld - (21st August 1689) With their leader dead, the Jacobites are defeated by the Coventers

Glenshiel - (1719) Another failed attempt by the Jacobites ends in defeat by the Hanovarian's

Culloden - (16th April 1746)

The Jacobites are massacred by the Duke of Cumberland.

Not much to shout about there eh Jock defeat after defeat

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Please Note: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when Simon is not directly observed, he may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.

I'm not here......
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** GED **
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Joined: 18 Jun 2014
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

25 stars Applause Applause Applause Applause
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Nightbar
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^ wot he said ^^^

Cool

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.
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing very good
__________________________________
Bert the Defender 110 XS - because it's Cool (work it out yourself!)
Lolita the Lightweight
???? the V8 90 CSW
Suzuki DL1000 V-Strom - yes that's right, I have a Zook!
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jojo
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very good.

Just to add a little known fact about sport. The national sport of Snotland came about by accident during a game of haggis bashing. The idea is that you bash a haggis up the rear with a long stick with a small lump of wood or metal on the end to see who could make the haggis scream the loudest. However, a well known professional haggis basher, Jock, played a poor stroke and hit the haggis in the ball (haggis only have one ball - just like Hitler in the song Colonel Bogie). The result was that the haggis ball was severed and was knocked a long way down the lawn where it finally dropped into a small hole. After a good swig of single malt haggis **** all the players thought that this was good fun and would make a good alternative sport. So they got some small balls and marked the holes in the lawn with flags and then set about fighting each other to see who could loose as many haggis balls in the holes as possible. They decided to call this new game Golley, Oh, Lots of Fun, or to use the initials - SPAM. and they have bored the civilised world with it ever since.

J
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