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You've probasbly seen this....

 
 
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w3526602
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Odometer: 10678
Location: Glynneath, South Wales



PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 1:52 pm    Post subject: You've probasbly seen this.... Reply with quote

WISDOM FROM MILITARY TRAINING MANUALS





'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
-Infantry Journal-
___________________________________



'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
-US.Air Force Manual -
___________________________________



'Whoever said the SPAM mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General Douglas MacArthur -
___________________________________


'Tracers work both ways.'
-Army Ordnance Manual-
___________________________________



'Five second fuses last about three seconds.'
- Infantry Journal -
___________________________________


'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- Naval Ops Manual -
___________________________________



'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
-Unknown Infantry Recruit-
___________________________________



'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.'
- Infantry Journal-
___________________________________



'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil.For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-
___________________________________



'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
- Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-
___________________________________



'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
-Unknown Author-
___________________________________



'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to
be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
-Fixed Wing Pilot-
___________________________________



'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
-Multi-Engine Training Manual-
___________________________________



'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'
-Unknown Author-
___________________________________



'If you hear me yell; "Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'
If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'
-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-
___________________________________



'What is the difference between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'
-Sign over Control Tower Door-
___________________________________



'Never trade luck for skill.'
-Author Unknown-
___________________________________



The three most common expressions (or famous last words)in military aviation are:' Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?'and 'Oh S...!'
-Authors Unknown-
___________________________________



'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
-Basic Flight Training Manual-
___________________________________



'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it..'
-Emergency Checklist-
___________________________________



'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot)-
___________________________________



'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB , AZ-
___________________________________



'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -
___________________________________



As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft,
having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.

The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?'

The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'




I'm sending this important memo to all my family and friends who are planning
to travel in the near future. I felt it was a tip you may find useful before flying.
If you have no travel plans you just may want to remember this anyway.

__________________________________
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer, cos if it doesn't fit, the hammer is not big enough.
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RichardD
Marshall


Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Odometer: 22856
Location: State of Confusion



PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

excellent
__________________________________
Poking the Grim Reaper with a stick then running away. The devil made me do it but God said it was okay with him.
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DD
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Odometer: 9759
Location: Aberdeenshire


1986 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 3:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old, but worth reading again Smile
__________________________________
Disco 'DD' Don
90 v8 for fun
110 XS CSW daily drive
'I came, I saw, I locked the diff'
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chrisvitarasport94
Off-Road Guru


Joined: 17 Jun 2005
Odometer: 1252
Location: South Devon



PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

without disrespecting the OP

"Alright, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time."

"It's not the bullet that's got my name on it that concerns me; it's all them other ones flyin' around marked 'To Whom It May Concern.'" -Unknown

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf - George Orwell

__________________________________
'94 3dr s/top Sport, roof bars, roof lights, Calmini bumper, SuperwinchEP9, CB & handheld, GPS, fwh's, 8x15 alloys, 31x10.5x15 BFG MT K/M's, 2" body lift, skid plates, 2.5" susp lift, & hi-lift. Safari Snorkel. R Lockright
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Xpajun
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Odometer: 3239



1988 Mitsubishi Shogun

PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:36 pm    Post subject: Re: You've probasbly seen this.... Reply with quote

w3526602 wrote:


'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -


Like them all....


But this one had me roflmao Laughing Laughing
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.
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 19 Jun 2002
Odometer: 40002
Location: Northern Ireland's Gold Coast


2009 Land Rover 110 CSW

PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing
__________________________________
Bert the Defender 110 XS - because it's Cool (work it out yourself!)
Lolita the Lightweight
???? the V8 90 CSW
Suzuki DL1000 V-Strom - yes that's right, I have a Zook!
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Nightbar
Difflock Royalty


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Odometer: 20632
Location: In a state of anticipation...


1999 Land Rover Defender

PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stolen and sent on.
__________________________________
The ex-Difflock Ambassador to Naples, Sir Nightbar DCJC DFS and 2 bars.

Plant a tree for the Difflock 3
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jojo
Mud Obsessed


Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Odometer: 5268




PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reminds me of a transcript of radio messages between a trainee pilot and ATC. It seems that the pilot was uncertain about which runway he should land on.

ATC to aircraft "Which runway are you landing on?"

Trainee pilot "It will be the one the crash tenders are going to"

Fortunately the pilot landed safely and at the debriefing it transpired that he was confused as he could only see one runway and couldn't reconcile the heading markings ATC were giving him.

After a bit of head scratching it transpired that the reason the pilot couldn't see the other runway or understand the heading markings was because he was actually landing at another airfield 50 miles away!

J
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